Our personalities

are
big parts of

who we are

They affect how we think, feel and behave, making us unique individuals.
**Personality disorders** (PDs) occur when individuals think, feel and behave in a manner that causes them to feel unaccepted or to experience distress. This creates functional issues and social or occupational impairment that lasts for extended periods of time. PDs are typically characterised by enduring patterns of behavior, cognition, and inner experience that deviate significantly from cultural expectations.
Generally, people diagnosed with a personality disorder can be quite rigid in the ways they think, feel and behave and trying to get them to conform to different ways of dealing with life will only make them more distressed [IMH].

Types of Personality Disorders

understanding our inner landscapes with compassion

Ψ Paranoid Personality Disorder
Ψ Schizoid Personality Disorder
Ψ Schizotypal Personality Disorder

Disorders under Cluster A are characterised by social awkwardness, withdrawal, and cognitive distortions.

Ψ Antisocial Personality Disorder
Ψ Borderline Personality Disorder
Ψ Histronic Personality Disorder
Ψ Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Disorders under Cluster B are typified by impulse control and emotional regulation.

Ψ Avoidant Personality Disorder
Ψ Dependent Personality Disorder
Ψ Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder

Disorders under Cluster C usually present with high levels of anxiety and an inability to regulate their anxiety.

Living with a personality disorder

Almost 1 in ten individuals is at risk of developing a personality disorder.

Individuals with personality disorders experience challenges in how they cope with life. These challenges often surface as patterns that occur across a person’s life.

Challenges in relationships: They may feel like their emotions are difficult to control, and that other people misunderstand what they are going through. This affects personal and social relationships. With an unstable identity or an unusual self-esteem, it is tough to relate to those around them.

Challenges in daily life: Having differences in emotional responses can make distress hard to tolerate. At work and in other parts of life, individuals with personality disorders may exhibit behaviours deemed unacceptable to others. In addition, they might find it difficult to complete their daily tasks. As a result, life becomes frustrating and confusing to themselves and their loved ones.

Addressing Personality Disorders

Effective management of personality disorders does not just happen with the snap of a finger. But, with sufficient effort and support, we can deal with life’s challenges.

I am living with a personality disorder. What can I do for myself?

If you’ve just been diagnosed, it’s time to educate yourself. Learning about the disorder (from trusted sources) can help you label the various aspects of what you are going through. It makes the diagnosis less overwhelming, and helps you pinpoint the areas you want to manage better.

Learn about cognitive distortions – thought patterns that can cause you to perceive yourself, others, and the world in inaccurate or negative ways. Although they were originally developed to help us cope with the world, they may not be healthy in every situation.

Build some stress and anxiety management skills. Figuring out what works for you is key to coping with life’s stressors. Other strategies you could try are mindfulness techniques – they help you stay grounded.

Our thoughts and emotions go hand in hand to affect our behaviour and mood. Coping with emotions effectively is essential to helping us feel calm and in control. Learn some Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) skills from our Psychologists in this video.

How to support someone with a personality disorder

Listen to and validate their thoughts and feelings without judgment. As you take on the role of the listener, recognize that their difficult emotions may also affect you. Educate yourself about personality disorder symptoms to help you empathise and better understand their experiences.

To safeguard your limits, it is essential to set clear boundaries and expectations. Have a conversation about what is and is not acceptable, such as shouting or physical aggression.

Be consistent. Follow through on what you have said and agreed on. This helps build trust, making them more comfortable with sharing their thoughts and feelings. When appropriate, encourage them to seek therapy. You may even offer to be the trusted person who accompanies them to sessions.

Should I seek a diagnosis?

Getting a diagnosis may make it easier for you to understand the traits of the disorder. It also helps you and your psychologist decide on what type of support would work best for you.

Obtaining a diagnosis is not a shameful affair. Rather, it helps pave the direction to getting better. Like tackling any problem, the process of addressing the disorder involves dealing with the root cause (e.g. addressing enduring patterns of behaviour or cognition that causes the distress).

Psychotherapy for Personality Disorders

Your psychologist may offer options for therapy. What does that mean for you?

During psychotherapy, we gain insight about the disorder and its symptoms. We would also be given a safe space to discuss our behaviours, emotions, and thoughts. It helps us understand how our behaviours affect others, and teaches us to manage symptoms and reduce problematic behaviours.

Common therapies for personality disorders include:

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which helps individuals to identify and change their dysfunctional thinking patterns.

Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), which focuses on building 4 core skills:

Mindfulness to focus on the present
Emotional regulation to work
Interpersonal effectiveness
Distress tolerance

Psychodynamic or psychoanalytic therapy, which works on building our self-awareness through the exploration of our conscious and unconscious thoughts and feelings.

Group therapy, an opportunity for individuals to learn to relate to other people who might be going through similar struggles. Under the guidance of a professional, you are supported by a community with goals to change their thought and behaviour.

A personality disorder does not make you any less valued as an individual. Taking care of your mental wellbeing is vital for both yourself and those around you. As with any other form of medical treatment or mental health therapy, knowing what you are dealing with is an enormous first step in the right direction. Speak to our psychologists to get started.