What is Menopause?
“It only happens to OLD women.”
“It only lasts a few weeks, and then it’s over.”
Oh no, no, no! These are just some of the many myths about menopause!
Menopause refers to the end of the menstrual cycle, which is formally 12 months after a woman’s last menstrual period.
Leading up to this point is a transitional phase called perimenopause, during which women may experience changes in their menstruation – irregular periods, heavier or lighter flow, shorter or longer periods, and symptoms that resemble menopause. During this time, the body reduces production of the hormones estrogen and progesterone.
It’s a natural part of ageing, though not always an easy one. And menopause isn’t just triggered by age. It can also occur due to the surgical removal of the womb or ovaries.
Frustration with Menopause: The Symptoms
An inevitable transition with legitimate frustration.
Menopause is a complex journey and affects each woman uniquely and in many ways.
The body undergoes a big change, possibly experienced as weight gain, weaker bones, body aches, weaker bladder and reduced sex drive.
Life on a day-to-day basis may involve hot flushes which can be intense enough to cause fatigue and disrupt sleep, and it can last for years after menopause! Sexual intercourse may also become painful or uncomfortable.
Some women may experience irritability, moodiness or even depression. It might also be frustrating when they struggle with concentration and memory. Major bodily changes also affect their confidence and self-esteem.
Here’s the thing: every woman’s experience is unique. So, while one person might breeze through it, another may face significant challenges.
The Menopause Journey
Menopause and Mental Health
It’s not just the body that feels the shift, the mind can be deeply affected too.
While external factors like ageing, stressful life events, or limited social support can contribute to mental health struggles, fluctuating hormones are a major player.
Estrogen, in particular, has profound effects on mental functioning. It influences emotions, memory, cognition, and is a mood-regulating neurotransmitter. The result of reduced estrogen? An increased risk of depression and anxiety during this time.
Depression
Mood swings are common during menopause, but when a low mood persists for over two weeks, it may indicate depression. Unlike typical emotional dips, depression is more intense and long-lasting. If you’re wondering whether it’s depression, it’s worth exploring the signs further (check here for more information).
Anxiety
While depression takes the spotlight, anxiety also makes its cameo during menopause. Anxiety attacks can feel a lot like hot flashes. Both can cause racing heart, sweating, and a sense of heat. But here’s the key difference: anxiety can cause shortness of breath, while hot flashes don’t. You may check other symptoms here.
Tips to Manage Menopause
Navigating menopause can feel overwhelming, but there are ways to cope:
Ψ Mindfulness
Mindfulness is simply awareness. Pay attention to the difficult emotions and physical symptoms arising from menopause – the resentment, low mood, hot flushes and body pains. Notice your thoughts – are they kind or critical? Allow yourself to feel them all. Take a back seat and just observe them as they are, without judgement.
It may also be helpful to take note of the things that trigger your hot flushes or mood swings so that you can avoid them or take steps to mitigate the effects.
You may refer to our Guided Therapies for some mindfulness practices to increase your awareness to the present with your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations.
Ψ Radical acceptance
Radical acceptance is about accepting life as it is instead of fighting reality or getting stuck in negative thoughts like “I hate being a woman”, “why do women have to go through this”, “this is so unfair”. It does not mean begrudgingly resigning yourself to fate or seeing yourself as helpless. It is the complete acceptance that the situation is beyond your control, even if it is not how you want them to be.
Accepting the reality will not remove your pain. Your hot flushes and body aches are still going to bother you. But when you choose to radically accept things that are not within your control, you avoid getting stuck in bitterness and despair. This frees up your energy to make changes in aspects of life that you can control, like finding ways to make life more comfortable or exciting for yourself and pursuing what truly matters to you in life.
Ψ Relaxation
Pursue your interests and hobbies, basically any activity that brings you joy. Given that menopause is a very personal experience, you would need to try out various options to see what works for you. Maybe it’s a walk in the neighbourhood, baking, or spending time with your friends and family.
Getting adequate sleep can be a challenge for women going through menopause. This sets them up for frustration and stress. Some simple sleep hygiene tips include keeping our sleep environment cool and dark, and avoiding caffeine, nicotine and alcohol from late afternoon onwards.
Ψ Professional support
General practitioners (GPs) or OBGYNs are excellent first stops for tackling physical symptoms. They can provide guidance on treatments like Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), which may ease issues tied to declining estrogen levels, including mood changes and depressive symptoms.
When hot flashes aren’t the only thing keeping you up at night—think constant worry, low mood, or feeling like you’re losing control, it might be the time to consider a psychologist especially if these challenges start affecting your relationships, work or overall quality of life. Psychologists aren’t just for “serious cases”; they offer invaluable support to women navigating the emotional, mental, and relational hurdles that menopause can bring. Whether it’s managing mood swings, addressing depression and anxiety, or navigating changes in relationships, psychologists provide a safe space to unpack what’s going on and strategies to move forward.
Therapeutic approaches psychologists may use include:
Ψ Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Ψ Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Ψ Mindfulness-Based Interventions
How to Support a Loved One Going Through Menopause?
Ψ Be an active listener
“How do you feel?” as simple as this question may sound, it provides them an opportunity to talk about their feelings. Be sure to express compassion and empathy. They are grappling with this major life transition that is foreign and overwhelming to them. Do not dismiss, criticise or guilt-trip them when they share about their discomfort or ask for help.
As much as you want them to feel better, do not rush to offer advice or problem-solve. We most probably cannot imagine their pain and discomfort so let’s not try to be an expert in their condition. Instead, take a curious and empathetic stance, ask them about how they feel and acknowledge that it is as bad as it feels to them. Be with them in the pain rather than trying to pull them of the pain.
Ψ Provide practical support
Learn more about menopause to understand what they are going through. Let them know that you are keen to help and ask how you could be of help. For instance, you could offer to run errands for them or help out with chores or simply being available.
Ψ Reassure and uplift
Menopause can make women feel stuck in a box of frustration and loss – loss of attractiveness, health, or roles within work and family. Reassure them that their identity isn’t solely defined by these challenges. Highlight their strengths and achievements and remind them of the areas in life where they excel or have control.