Fertility, IVF, and Egg Freezing

The clock ticks 

We’ve graduated from school at last! With energy abundant, we hit the ground running. We’re eager and zealous to take on the world, to explore its beauty, to pursue our hobbies, and to carve a name for ourselves in our careers! The world is truly our oyster! 

Yet, in a seemingly cruel twist of fate, this moment is also the most conducive period to conceive a child as our fertility is at its peak. If we choose to sprint ahead with other pursuits, time waits for no man and marches on mercilessly. For most of us, fertility begins to decline at approximately 32 years of age. This means that the chances of pregnancy get lower as we age. Additionally, there is also a higher risk of complications when getting pregnant later in life, which poses health risks to our child and ourselves.  

As time ticks on, the pressure to decide between motherhood and our other pursuits rises steadily. We are bombarded with unending questions of when we plan to have kids, “friendly” reminders of our age, and have to contend with our own desires to make sure that our kids will be born healthy. Over time, it can be very stressful and distressing.  

Assistance 

Thankfully, there are a few methods available to us if we wish to have both pursuits and motherhood!  

The first would be IVF (in vitro fertilisation). IVF can help boost fertility and chance of pregnancy, and this is done by fertilising our eggs with our partner’s sperm in a laboratory and then replacing the eggs back into our wombs.  

The other option would be EEF (elective egg freezing).  EEF can help preserve fertility by freezing and storing our younger and healthier eggs.  

With these two methods, we have the options to preserve or boost our fertility so that we can enjoy other pursuits in our youths! 

 How do I decide? 

1. Radical acceptance 

   It’s stressful to face our biological clocks. It’s frustrating to be bombarded with questions. It might feel unfair that we need to pause our other pursuits for motherhood. We hear you. These are all natural and very valid feelings to have. But holding on to such feelings can quickly tire us out, and we could already use more sleep as is!  

   Instead, let’s try to make the conscious effort to acknowledge our emotions and the reality of the situation. Acceptance would not lessen our stress or frustration, but it could afford us the energy to move forward, to make and stick with our decisions. 

2. Challenging thoughts 

   Societal and cultural expectations can be harsh, and we may worry about how our decisions may be perceived: 

   • “Am I selfish for pursuing my career/hobby?” 

   • “Will others think less of me if I use these technologies?” 

   • “Am I a terrible mother?” 

   These unhelpful thoughts hurt us and may not actually be true. So, what can we do about them? Well, we can try to recognise these thoughts when they do happen and challenge them by asking ourselves the following questions: 

   • What would we say to a friend who is going through the same situation? 

   • Is there evidence that supports these thoughts? 

   • What about evidence that contradicts these thoughts? 

3. Seek support 

Our loved ones and friends know us well and this could be a great opportunity to check in with them. Let’s try to share about our worries, receive their support, and to hear their opinions and thoughts on the matter.  

We could also consider booking an appointment with a health professional to find out more about fertility, the available options, and any possible side effects. That way, we empower ourselves to make a more informed decision in the future. 

Our body 

It’s not easy being a woman, so let’s be kind to ourselves. Let’s remember that it’s our body and our choice as to whether we wish to have children earlier, later, or not at all.