You’re in pain. You feel numb. This is a time in your life that the pain is so overwhelming that it seems like there is no way out. When this happens, suicidal thoughts may swarm your mind, (erroneously) presenting itself as the only solution.
Often, it’s not that you want to end your life, but rather, are seeking an escape from the unbearable pain and numbness.
You are not alone. Many others have experienced this pain and entertained suicidal thoughts – in 2020, Singapore recorded 452 suicide deaths while Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) reported over 39,000 suicide and crisis related calls.
Many, however, struggle alone with their pain in our local mental health landscape where suicide is deemed taboo. It’s high time we embrace conversations around suicide. Let’s start by going through what may keep you afloat in what appears to be a rip current.
How to Cope with Suicidal Thoughts
Ψ Focus on getting through today
Your pain and suicidal thoughts may seem overwhelming in the moment. You don’t have to act on your thoughts now. You may have had them previously. Recall how the distressing emotions and suicidal thoughts came and left. How you feel today may not be how you feel tomorrow or the week later - feelings will pass.
Ψ Create a crisis/safety plan
The gist of a safety plan is to list the key things you can do to keep yourself safe during a crisis. This is an extremely important step, and we care for you and have created a template for your own safety plan. Fill in the plan and keep it somewhere you can easily access and refer to it whenever the urge to hurt or kill yourself arises.
You could write down the people whom you can contact to help you feel better and the places where you would feel safe (e.g., your bedroom, friend’s house).
Stay away from things that you could use to harm yourself, such as pills and razor or even keys that unlock your window grills. Get a trusted friend or family member to safeguard them on your behalf until you are more in control of your thoughts and feelings.
Ψ Ground yourself in the present reality
Grounding techniques work when we might feel like our mind’s just spiralling out of control, and we’re being pulled in all directions because of it.
To gather back the control of our minds or focus, take a few moments to try out the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique:
Name 5 things you can see (like the colours on this page),
Name 4 things you can feel (like the phone or device in your hand),
Name 3 things you can hear (like birds, music or people talking)
Name 2 things you can smell (like hand creams, perfumes, coffee)
Name 1 thing you can taste (like a mint, tea, food)
Ψ Engage in activities you enjoy (or once did)
This could look like spending time with your family and friends even if you do not talk about your feelings, going for a walk in the park, watching a movie and playing games.
Engage in those activities even if your body and mind tell you not to, and note how you feel after.
Ψ Create a gratitude (or ‘reasons why’) list
Make a list of the things that you are thankful for in your life. Think about your family and friends whom you love, the sights and sounds that you can experience and delight in. You could also affirm your strengths.
These are the reasons you continue going, the kind of reality you wish to build for yourself that helps make space for your pain, but also comforts you in the hard moments. This is the version of you, and your life, that you would be proud of.
Ψ Seek support and reach out
Don’t fight this battle alone.
Asking for help is hard, but it is the bravest thing you can do for yourself. Reach out to someone you trust to share your feelings and how you have been coping or struggling. They may be startled when they first hear about it but know that they want to help. Let them know how you want them to support you if you have an idea (e.g., check in on you every night, call the emergency hotline for you during a crisis).
Besides approaching your friends and family, you could join a support group. It is a powerful tool that helps you feel supported. People with similar experiences would come together to share their struggles and tips to overcome them.
If you find it too hard to talk to a loved one and you just want to hear a voice, call the crisis helpline. They could help to direct you to relevant resources or professional help.
Lastly, connect with an experienced mental health professional who will work with you to manage your difficult emotions and suicidal thoughts in a safe, nonjudgmental, and supportive space.