Things You Have Permission to Say to Your Therapist
Sharing our more private feelings with a stranger and trusting them to help us is not easy.
It can feel like we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place at times – a professional should be the best person to help us, but we have our reservations about this whole process.
What should we do?
Well, remember that therapists are human too! There may be times when therapists make mistakes or make you feel uncomfortable, and it is more than okay to voice your opinions!
1. “I feel uncomfortable”
While some levels of discomfort may be an inherent part of the therapeutic process (e.g., confronting your fears), it is still a good idea to voice our discomforts so that the therapist is better able to tailor the therapy to feel more manageable. That way, therapy could be less daunting and it’s easier for us to find the motivation to carry on with it.
2. “I disagree”
Yes, the therapist is a professional who likely has better knowledge of the particular issue, and that’s exactly why we’re there seeking their opinion!
However, every situation is unique. What the therapist makes of our situation may not necessarily be always 100% accurate. By disagreeing (or agreeing), we can help the therapist to better understand our concerns, allowing them to provide us with a more tailored therapeutic plan.
3. “That didn’t work for me”
Some practices have been found to work best for most people and the therapist is likely to have made an informed decision based on our circumstances.
However, sometimes, things just don’t seem to work for us. And that’s okay! We don’t need to pretend that it works. We should quickly inform our therapist about it so that they can look for alternatives or help us work out what’s not working! The goal for therapy, after all, is to help us, and identifying what doesn’t work is helpful.
4. “What about…”
Hang on! Why does it seem like the therapist is only working on one of the many concerns we have raised? There are many reasons why this may be so. For example, the therapist may feel that this is the most pressing concern or that addressing this could help address the other issues too.
Regardless, it’s certainly a good idea to enquire about the other issues and to hear their opinion on them.
5. “Perhaps, we may not be a good fit”
Sometimes, both parties may have tried their best, but things just don’t click. It feels awkward, strange, and perhaps even a struggle to want to open up and share. It’s okay to thank your therapist for their efforts and to inform them that you think it may not be working out.
Therapy can be a difficult process, but rest assured that it is meant to be your safe space! Therapists have your best interests at heart and voicing your opinions can help to better tailor the therapy to your needs and comfort. So, please voice your opinions, they matter!